Crazy Friend
by Lemon Zinger
Summary: 'I was beginning to get frantic. "Ben!" I jumped in a ball pit for you Ben, you'd better be okay' Riley's thoughts as they are stealing the Declaration of Independence. NO SLASH.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: 'I was beginning to get frantic. "Ben?" _I jumped in a ball pit for you Ben, you'd better be okay!'_ Riley's thoughts as they are stealing the Declaration of Independence. I was looking for a certain Ben and Riley story to share with my friend, and when I couldn't find it, I wrote her this. Ben and Riley's first meeting was my idea. I just have a thing about Riley getting embarrassed. **

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I could not believe I was helping him steal the Declaration. I wasn't worried about my own safety. I would not be in as much danger as he would be. I was worried about my best friend.

The gala was a great idea, I had to hand it to him, but the whole idea of stealing the Declaration was ludicrous. Though, so was expecting the FBI, the Department of Homeland Security, or the cute lady at the Archives to believe us about an invisible treasure map on the back of one of the founding documents.

I was not having a good day. I had longed for excitement and adventure when I had been stuck in my cubicle in the technical support department.

_-flashback-_

_Ben had called in, asking for help with his computer that had picked up a virus while he had been researching._

_I had walked him through the process of erasing his computers temporary memory in order to kill the virus and he had said something about Charlotte. I asked him what he meant and he had laughed._

_"You will think I'm crazy."_

_"Most people think I'm crazy." I replied. It was true, my co-workers took a lunch break while I found new uses for computers. It was my dream to be working on top, but was stuck at the bottom because I lacked the bravery and all around shine that the important men had._

_"Well, I'm hunting for a treasure."_

_I did want to laugh, but then I thought that maybe this guy was serious. He sounded serious. "And who is Charlotte?" I asked. _

_"Charlotte is, I think, a ship actually. 'The secret lies with Charlotte' is my only clue, and I was researching to see if I could find any records of a ship named Charlotte." _

_"Really? I don't suppose you need a technically savvy persons help?" I asked._

_"Well, actually, I could use someone good with computers. When do you get off work?"_

_"I get off at five today." I said._

_"Good, meet me for dinner at six." Ben said. He left an address and I was there, promptly at 5:45, to find that the address actually was a local McDonalds._

_I was a little taken aback, but I saw a sign taped to the door as I went in._

_"Order a Big Mac with fries and a strawberry milkshake. Then read the next clue."_

_I stared at the paper and looked around, but saw no one. I went inside and scanned the crazy restaurant for someone who might be meeting me, but it was mostly moms and their kids. This McDonald's had a play place – complete with a ball pit and three slides._

_I went up to the counter and decided to try my luck. "Uh… I'll have a Big Mac with fries and a strawberry milkshake." I told the lady behind the counter._

_"Oh my gosh! It's him!" The girl shrieked, bringing the attention of just about the entire room to me._

_"Yea. You know what, skip the meal, can I just have whatever was left for me?" I asked._

_"Here." The cashier said, slipping me a folded piece of paper with a shy smile._

_"Ok-ay Riley, you're officially having one of those days." I said, turning around to see a grandma with a grouchy face standing behind me._

_I slipped past her and went to an empty table to read my clue. As I sat down, I realized that someone had left an open packet of open ketchup on the seat._

_"Oh that's just great." I said, putting my head down on my folded hands._

_I sighed and read the clue. "The secret lies in the ball pit."_

_I looked up and grimaced at the pit. It was full of red, yellow, blue, and green balls and five or six kids. _

_"There is no way this is happening." I said. I thought about leaving, going home, cleaning up, going to bed, and getting up to go back to my sad little cubicle in the morning. _

_I dashed over to the ball pit and dove in before I could hesitate. I swam around, scaring the little kids out, and searched for the piece of paper. It took several minutes, but I found it. I grasped it tightly as I surfaced to face the restaurant full of staring customers. They were all silent and staring._

_I sighed and crawled out of the ball pit, picking up the balls that decided to fall out with me. Then I unfolded the piece of paper and read the contents. _

_"Congratulations." Was all it said, and a one-dollar bill was tucked inside as well._

_Oh good, I could buy myself a small fry._

_"Good job." A man said, coming up behind me as I read the note over and over, hoping somehow that the congratulations would end up making me feel better. "Benjamin Gates." The man said, holding out his hand. _

_It clicked that this was the man I was meeting._

_ "Oh, Riley, Riley Poole." I said._

_"Are you a fan of James Bond?" Ben asked, leading me to a seat. I checked for ketchup before I sat down._

_"Uh, well, I've seen the movies. I don't know if I liked them or not really…" I said. _

_"You did a good job following the clues." _

_"That wasn't that difficult." I said. "You just told me what to do."_

_"Yeah, but you did it. Not everyone would jump in a ball pit for a guy they just talked on the phone with." Ben smiled._

_ "I'm so desperate to get out of my job." I admitted._

_"Well, I can't promise you anything, treasure hunting is a risky business, but I will compensate you for your help." Ben said._

_"I can live with that. I could live with it if you just bought my food and gave me someplace to sleep." I said._

_So the deal was made. I help Ben find the treasure; I have a life outside my pathetic cubicle. Ben and I grew to be good friends, and I admired his courage and knowledge._

_ -flashback ends-_

I never thought I'd be helping him steal the Declaration of Independence though.

Ben jumped to the back of the car to get out of the side door. "Ben are you sure that we should-" He shut the door before I could finish.

"Guess so." I sighed, setting up my equipment.

"Riley." His voice came over the radio. "Can you hear me?"

"Unfortunately, yeah." I replied. I didn't mean it. He knew I didn't. "We're all set in here."

I waited tense, for something to go wrong. I heard him getting changed and smiled.

"How do you look?" I asked. I wondered how he could manage fitting into a jumpsuit overtop his suit.

"Not bad." He said. At least he was modest when it came to his appearance.

"Mazel tov." I answered.

I heard him greet someone and a female voice replied. "Is that that hot girl? How does she look?" I asked. I didn't get a reply.

"I made a last-minute donation. A big one." Ben said. He was obviously responding to one of her questions.

"Well, on that subject thank you for your wonderful gift." She said.

What gift? I wondered.

"Oh you did get it?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Oh good." He said.

"You know, I really couldn't accept something like that normally, but… I really want it."

I rolled my eyes.

"Well, you needed it." Ben replied.

"Come on Romeo, get outta there." I told him.

I heard her ask about the pipe and then heard another male voice enter the scene.

"Who's the stiff?" I asked Ben, knowing he wouldn't respond. I was getting used to being ignored and picked on, but considering the danger Ben was in, I didn't mind.

"A toast, yes? To high treason. That's what these men were committing when they signed the Declaration. Had we lost the war they would have been hanged, beheaded, drawn and quartered, and – Oh! My personal favorite – and had their entrails cut out and burned!" _Way to ruin a toast Ben,_ I thought. _Way to ruin their appetites and give them nightmares as well. At least such torture was outlawed in the U.S., because we would probably suffer it for what we were about to do._

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**Clue: review and go on to chapter two!**

**Seems pretty simple right?**


	2. Chapter 2

"So, here's to the men who did what was considered wrong in order to do what they knew was right. What they knew was right." I heard Ben add. I heard him gulp down whatever fancy drink they had been toasting with and wondered if he would be able to walk in a straight line afterwards.

"Well, good night." He said. He sounded okay. I heard him moving around and assumed he was working on his fingerprint experiment.

"This better work." I said, fingering my pencil and listening intensely for the results.

"How does it look?" I asked, when I didn't hear anything. I was impatient, but only because I was worried that at any moment something could go wrong.

"It's working, It's working." Ben even sounded relieved.

"Unbelievable." I muttered. I just hoped it kept working.

"We're in the elevator." Ben said.

"Okay, I'm going to turn off the surveillance cameras. Ready?" I counted down from five, just to make it interesting. "Ben Gates," I said around the pencil in my mouth. I removed it once my hand was free. "You are now the Invisible Man."

I watched him come out of the elevator; glad he had made it this far. Now if he could make it the rest of the way.

"I'm here." He said.

"Give me the letters for her password." I said. I waited while he found them. "What do you got for me?" I brought up a word unscramble program.

"Hit me with it." I said, wondering why it was taking so long.

"A-E-F-G-L-O-R-V-Y" He said. I typed the letters into the program and waited for the results.

"Anagrams being listed. Okay…" I said, sighing when I noticed the long list of results. "Top results: A glove fry, a very golf, fargo levy, gravy floe, valey frog, also argo fly rev, uh… grove fly a, are fly gov, era fly gov, elf gov ray-"

"It's Valley Forge." Ben said.

"Valley Forge, I don't have that on my computer." I was slightly frustrated.

"It's Valley Forge, she pressed the E and L twice." Ben said.

He might have told me sooner…

"We're in." He said as he stepped into the preservation room on my camera.

"Hello." I said as he pointed at the camera.

He went into the glass chamber and took off the sheet covering the decoration.

"Ben you're doing great." I said. I was beginning to think we might get out of this alive. The I realized this was taking way too long.

"Ben, pick it up." I said. He had hardly started on the screws.

"You got about one…" Suddenly my camera turned to static. I became seriously worried. The guards could be seeing Ben right now. His cover might be blown! "I lost my feed." I said, trying several tricked to attempt to recover it.

"What?" Ben asked, sounding concerned and surprised.

"I lost my feed, Ben." I repeated, checking the cords.

"I don't know where anyone is. I have nothing." I felt and sounded panicked. How could this happen? "Ben I have no… Ben I have nothing." I kept repeating it, trying to make it make sense. "Get out of there. Get out of there now." What I meant was, abort the entire mission and get out.

To my horror, he had another plan. "I'm taking the whole thing. I'll get it out in the elevator."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, but then I realized it was pointless to argue. "Is it heavy?" I wished I was there, able to help him.

It was so frustrating to be helpless, on the other side of the street in a van, trying to find out why my feed went dead.

Suddenly, I heard shooting and a bang. I glanced around wildly, but then realized it was coming from the radio.

"What was that?" I asked, willing Ben to be alive and well. _Please don't let him be caught. _

"Who's shooting?" I asked. _Answer me Ben! _

"Are you still there?" I was beginning to get frantic. "Ben?" _I jumped in a ball pit for you Ben, you'd better be okay!_

"I'm in the elevator." I heard him say. I let out a breath of relief. He was safe, thank God.

"Ian's here. There was, uh, shooting." Ben said.

"I hate that guy." I growled. I heard Ben shuffling paper and the rattle of a paper bag.

He may still just make it. His cover wasn't blown; he just had a minor setback. He would get out of the elevator, come outside and we would drive away before anyone know what had happened. It would work out.

"Are you trying to steal that?" A loud feminine voice asked.

"Oh, uh…" Ben sounded surprised. Oh God, he was going to get in so much trouble. This was such a bad idea! Why hadn't I been more serious when I had been telling him not to do it?

"It's $35." The voice added.

Wait, they were selling him the Declaration? I was confused for a moment, and then remembered the gift shop. Oh.

"For this?" _Pay up Ben. You owe me for a near heart-attack as well._ I thought.

"Yeah."

"That's a lot."

"Hey I don't make the prices."

I heard him shuffling bills. "It's um…. I have $32…" I heard coins jingle. "…57?"

"We take Visa." The lady informed him. I rolled my eyes. _Great timing lady, now hurry up!_

I got in the drivers seat, hoping Ben would be out soon. Now that he was done paying for the Declaration (which might make an interesting argument in court), he should be coming out.

"Where are you Ben." I sang, taping the steering wheel and shuffling nervously.

"Where are you?" I asked again.

"Stop talking." He said quickly. I didn't know he could still hear me. "Start the van." He ordered. I did so. Then I looked out the window to see him approaching and realized he was being followed.

"Ben, the… the mean Declaration lady's behind you." I stuttered as she hurried to approach.

"Hey." She called.

"Oh, it's you. Hello."

"Mr. Brown, what's going on? What's that?"

"It's a souvenir." Ben said.

"Really?" She didn't sound convinced.

"Stop chatting and get in the van." I said, clenching my teeth. We had to go now! Someone was eventually going to find out that the Declaration was missing and –

The alarms went off, blaring the news to the world that something was wrong.

"Oh my God." I said, putting my fist on my head. Maybe I missed my cubicle a tiny bit in that instant when I realized we were so dead.

"Oh my God, you did not!" She yelled, looking at Ben.

"No…" Ben's protest went unheard.

"Security! Over here!" She called. "Give me that!" I saw her yank the Declaration from Ben in the rear view mirror.

"It's yours. Take it." Ben said. Maybe we would get off with 40 years in prison instead of life if we just gave it back.

She continued to yell for security as Ben jumped into the passenger seat. "Go!" He yelled.

I couldn't believe I was saying it, but I looked at him in astonishment. "We can't just let her go!"

"We can. Go!"

Had our lives suddenly became more meaningful to Ben then the treasure hunt? Was he finally being reasonable? I went to drive and then he stopped me again.

"No, hold it! Hold it!" I saw him pointing at a van heading straight for the one with the Declaration. I didn't need him to tell me it was Ian. In an instant they had grabbed her, and the Declaration with her.

"Oh bad!" Ben said. "Bad, bad, bad!" He jumped out of the car, only to have the driver fire at him several times. I heard him cry out and for a terrible heart-stopping second thought he had been killed. Then I didn't have time to worry, because the driver was firing at me.

Ben, looking unharmed, jumped back into the passengers seat as I dusted glass from my hair. "Go! Go!" He shouted. I just drove, deciding to trust the crazy treasure hunter.

He was my friend, after all.

**Clue two: Review! **

**If you want me to continue, let me know. I was considering doing the car chase as well. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Updated due to overwhelming requests. Including from the person I wrote this for who threatened to do terrible things if I didn't add more :). Last chapter though, the entire National Treasure movie from Riley's POV would get boring. I do hope to be writing more National Treasure fics though, as the muse strikes me.**

The tires of our van squealed as I did a quick u-turn to get behind Ian's truck_. Just great. First we steal the Declaration, now were speeding down the streets of our nations capital like idiots._

Although, technically, if we were caught, we could say Ian was stealing it and we were trying to stop him, since he was the one with the Declaration now.

I heard police sirens, but I didn't know if they were chasing Ian or us or just going to investigate the matter at the Archives.

"Once we catch Ian what are we going to do?" I asked. I hoped Ben had a plan. It's not like we were those awesome guys from movies that could jump from moving vehicles and not get hurt.

"Working on it." Ben replied. _Great. Just great._

The truck in front of us made a sharp turn and I had to dodge a police car and follow them. Why couldn't Ben drive? Why did he have to let Dr. Chase have the Declaration? Why did Ian have to be here?

We sped by the Capital Building, and I couldn't help but wonder if the men that worked there were as stupid as the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security. If they had just _listened_ to us I could be at home in bed right now.

The truck made another sharp turn – narrowly avoiding a larger truck in front of it. It sped down a road that was under construction and I was forced to follow, having nowhere else to go.

It was like the little kids roller coaster rides that bumped you so much you got off with a minor case of whiplash. Only, I wasn't a little kid any more and we were in pursuit of guys willing to kill to get what they wanted. Hardly an amusement park.

Dirt was spread over the road and I felt the van skidding. _It would almost be humorous for Ian and us to be in an accident right now. Not that I wanted them dead… just paralyzed._

They made another turn and suddenly, the door on the back of the truck flung open and the hot girl was hanging on to it as it swung out. We could hear her scream, since my window was now all over the floor and me.

"Oh no." Ben said. _What, did this throw a monkey wrench in your brilliant idea? _I thought.

"Holy Lord." I said out loud. Wishing he would answer with a bolt of lightning to strike Ian dead.

Then one of Ian's goonies started firing at us. Fortunately, the windshield was crash resistant and the bullets deflected away harmlessly.

Ian, surprisingly, stopped the man shooting and I realized that he was looking out for the Declaration, not us.

While I had been watching the truck in front of us, Ben had moved to the back and was opening the side door.

"Get me next to her!" He shouted. I looked back at him, thinking that maybe crazy wasn't the right descriptive word. Insane, maybe, or just plain senseless would fit better.

But I obeyed; sliding out across the double yellow lines and praying there was no oncoming traffic.

Oh what I wouldn't give to have my driving instructor here, tied up in the back so he couldn't do anything about it. He had been a mean guy, constantly beating me up for my mistakes. He had said I was too shy about driving. Bet he never drove in the wrong lane to save a girl and the Declaration while worrying about getting shot at.

Then a bus was flying towards us and I had to swerve into the next lane to avoid a head-on crash. I wondered if the truck had managed to move as well. After it passed I moved back over and got Ben as close to her as I could.

I heard several screams and Ben ordering her to jump. Then there was a crash in the back seat and I heard several gunshots. The door slide shut on it's own, when I swerved to get away. Ben had rescued her, so I turned to get away from Ian and the rest.

I kept risking looks back at them, praying no one was seriously hurt.

"You all right?" Ben asked. I knew he was talking to the girl he'd just rescued, but she seemed more concerned about the document.

"No, those, those lunatics they stole-"

"You're not hurt are you?" Ben asked again.

"You're all lunatics!" She yelled.

"You hungry?" Ben asked.

"What?" She asked, finally listening to him.

"Are you all right?" He asked firmly.

"Still a little on edge from being shot at, but I'll be okay." I replied. "Thanks for asking." It was a small barb, just to remind Ben that it had been me that had just risked everything for his idea.

"Yea well, I'm not all right, those men have the Declaration of Independence!"

"She lost it?" I shrieked. Well, it was sort of a good thing. If Ian had it we couldn't get arrested for it.

"They don't have it." Ben announced. He opened a canister and I peeked back as he opened it to reveal the real declaration. "See? Okay? Now could you please stop shouting?"

"Give me that!" She ordered, but Ben yanked it away.

"You're still shouting. And it's really starting to annoy." Ben said. I smiled. He could keep his cool after everything and still manage to be annoyed by shouting. "It would do you well, Dr. Chase, for you to be more civilized in this instance."

He sounded like a college professor. He joined me in the front seat again.

"If this is the real one, what did they get?" She asked, sitting on the floor between our seats.

Even I could figure that out.

"Souvenir." Ben said, putting the canister into another to keep it safe. "Thought it would be a good idea to have a duplicate. Turns out I was right. Actually I had to pay for the souvenir and the real one so you owe me thirty-five dollars plus tax." Ben added.

I laughed. "Genius." Maybe passionate was a better descriptive word for him. Then again, he could be quite crazy sometimes.

"Who are those men?" She asked loudly. Ben rubbed his forehead. I hoped he hadn't been injured. There was no way we could go to a hospital.

"Just the guys we warned you were going to try to steal the Declaration." Ben said.

"And you didn't believe us." I smirked.

"We did the only thing we could do to keep it safe."

"Verdammt, give me that!" She shouted, reaching for the canister.

"You know something, you're shouting again."

"Pretty sure she was swearing too." I added.

"Well, we probably deserve that." Ben said.

Sure, we save her life and the Declaraction and _deserve_ to be sworn at.

"There is not a treasure map on the back of the Declaration of Independence." Dr. Chase said firmly.

"And there is not chase that anyone could steal this," he shook the canister, "either."

"I leveled with you 100%" Ben added. "Everything I told you was the truth."

"I want that document Mr. Brown." Dr. Chase scowled.

"Okay my names not Brown, it's Gates, I leveled with you 98%." I was surprised to hear him admit that.

"Wait a minute did you just say Gates?" She asked, sounding incredibly suspicious.

They looked at each other then looked at me. I grimaced.

"Gates?" She echoed. "Your that family with the conspiracy theory about the founding fathers?"

"It's not a conspiracy theory." Ben argued.

"Per se." I said. Hiding treasure and setting up a bunch of elaborate clues was a conspiracy theory in my book.

"You know I take it back, you're not liars, you're insane." Dr. Chase concluded. "You can't seriously intend to run chemical tests on the Declaration of Independence in the back of a moving van."

"We have a clean room environment all set up. EDS suits and particulate air filtration system, the whole shebang." I informed her.

"Really?" She asked.

"We can't go back there." Ben said.

"What?" I said, looking at him in horror. Where would we go? "Why not?"

"I had to use my Visa to pay." Ben admitted.

"A credit card slip?" I yelled, my false sense of hope flying out the window. "Dude we're on the grid. They're gonna have your records from forever, their gonna have my records from forever – "

"I know, I know." Ben said. "It's only a matter of mintues before the FBI shows up at my front door."

"What do we do?" I demanded. I was beyond frustrated with him.

"We need those letters." Ben said.

"What letters?" The lady asked.

"You know what, get off the road, take a right." Ben ordered, ignoring her.

Once again I did as he asked. And I would continue to do as he asked. I earned a measly two percent for my trouble.


End file.
